get ready to take notes

because this guy is amazing, and is teaching the kind of English that I've always wanted to teach.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8TH_dKfBI40

--gaijin who writes this
signatures go here

look i wrote another novel

all of them smoke, it was the gun that they didn't like.

*ahem* if you want to read this whole post, you should probly get some snacks and take a bathroom break first, cos I went for the word limit, not reading it is also an option, we live in a world of opportunities and the time is now

well the 1 month Japanese summer vacation is over, and on friday i'll be back at work, which is really too bad, because over the last month i was having a great time being in Japan with no work to do, and I went to some kickass places. there's nothing better than waking up on a tuesday and saying out loud, "fuck it, i'm going to SAPPORO, Japan's 5th largest city & the capital city of Hokkaido prefecture which is the northern island region, close to Russia....today. I know where sapporo is so why am i talking to myself like this?" *tooot toooot* that was the sound of the 11 o'clock exposition express, comes through these parts every blog post for the benefit of people living outside Japan.

i usually don't read the entire company propaganda pamphlets that come in the mail, but the last one basically, said 'summer break will be over before you know it!! dont miss the opportunity to try or do something new during your time off before returning to your life of drudgery, all meetings are now mandatory, you're slowly dying inside a little bit more every day.'

that was me paraphrasing the thing but here's a direct quote: "It's time to have an adventure! It's time to take the local train, not the express!"

"But I always take the local trains, so....maybe it's time to take the express??" he wondered aloud as he crumpled up the newsletter, throwing it carelessly aside without a second thought or bothering to read the...whatever they usually write on page 2, he wasn't sure. What he was sure of, was that if he would just go to the damn store to buy some more trash cans, he could throw all his mail in there instead of on the floor.

After a brief moment to reflect on the crippling laziness that was ruining his life, he made his way to the train station and blah blah blah plot development blah blah awkward romance scene, some cars or something explode and theres a chase scene in there somewhere and they kill a vampire/werewolf, the end."

had i known how stupidly long it takes to travel over 1000km by train, i would've bought the $150 plane ticket and spent the savings on pocky....why did i link that? you know what pocky is, anyway how bout that train adventure?

the train itself wasn't much of an adventure really, took 20 hours and the trains were basically devoid of life because people don't really commute over 1000km to work on a tuesday (on the way back, sunday).

but during an hour stop in a small city called Hirosaki, I met and talked to a girl named Yuka, who instantly earned a place on my 'top 5 craziest people i've ever met' list. not crazy in the sense like, "wow that girl can drink you under the table and parties like crazy!" no....no, crazy as in she was literally rubbing her ass all over a vending machine when I first saw her, and while I know that sounds like the beginning of a beautiful love story, sadly it was simply not in the cards....this time.

She kept asking me over and over if i saw the "Nebuta" festival (i looked it up later, and yes it's real not a hallucination) and why I was in Hirosaki. When I had to catch my train, she gave me a box of matches from Mister Donut....WTF????!? i mean, seriously, why can you get matches at a donut shop? also why did she give them to me is another question that came to mind.

Hirosaki JR Station.
Manila (i was only making a transfer to America).
The Athens airport.
LAX. why do batshit crazy people around the world feel the need to talk to me, of all people? do i have a look on my face that says, "sure, sure go ahead and come talk to me, i'll tell you exactly which firefighters are secretly plotting against you and exacctly what type of alien put the tracking device in your skull."

well the last i saw of Yuka, she was walking away, looking extremely confused. not as confused as me though. and i'll admit i was was mildly curious what she was going to rub her ass on next, and i still have the half empty box of matches



because i never know what my astral plane spirit guide will want me to burn next

Japan is somewhat famous for random craziness, as in the manga tv and anime that they export makes some people wonder what kind of country does it take to produce that kind of stuff? but the people in Japan who are legitimitely crazy? i don't want to disparage them too much. these people need some help! but me and my friends laughed about Yuka's story, probably because we don't meet people like that everyday. if we lived in tokyo, that kind of encounter would barely even register.

anyway, i was talking about going to Hokkaido by train. I guess I got....sidetracked! *ba-dum* *tish*

.
..
...
....i'm really sorry about that.

it was definitely cool to see different parts of Japan that I wouldn't have seen had I taken the plane. The coastline is especially beautiful, but I couldn't take quality pictures or video from inside the train because of glare on the windows.

traveling on express trains in Japan is almost like being on a plane, albeit a retardedly slow one. i only say that because, like a plane, express trains have stewardesses too, who want to sell you a variety of overpriced snacks and drinks. but i boarded the train with a few bottles of tea and some sandwiches. hours later, i was all out of tea and sandwiches, but on the other hand i'd reached Sapporo, so overall i'd say I came out on top.

Sapporo, being located where it is, was a few degrees cooler than my area, which was nice because it gets pretty hot in Japan. another cool thing is the city is really easy to navigate. it's growth having been carefully planned from day one (which is unique to Japan), the whole city is laid out as a grid with addresses based on how far from Odori park they are,



this long park right here with the igloo, i took this picture from the top floor of the TV tower, another landmark. the grid makes getting directions really easy. There's no confusion about where "North 5 East 3" is.

There's also no confusion about where the party is. Vertically from S2 to S5, horizontally from W3 to E1-ish, anywhere you go in that general area is the Susukino neighborhood. wanna see some pictures of a crazy Susukino party with free-flowing booze and ladies of loose morals?



oops, wrong picture. but that garden was also crazy. indeed, most of my pictures from Susukino were deleted, by me, when I looked at them while sober. instead, i'm just going to show you the aftermath of someone else's drunken escapades through Nakajima Park



you fail bikes forever.



and you fail shoe repair forever.

ok, Sapporo, LET ME TOLD YOU SOMETHING, don't ever forget that:



now go to your room. btw, Nakajima park doesn't have much else going for it besides the late night bike-drowning shoe-breaking parties (unless you like greenery, it does have greenery)

i'm a big food tourist these days, and Sapporo has a few things going for it cuisine wise. just like Fukuoka in Kyushuu, which is the southern island, Sapporo has their own specialty ramen: "Bataa Koun Miso Ramen" (not making that name up, Japan uses a lot of loan words) which is ramen in a butter/corn/miso broth. oh and just so we're clear, we're not talking about shitty instant ramen noodles, these are real noodles. Anyway, Sapporo's ramen was alright, but as far as nonstandard ramens go, 'Hakata Ramen' a.k.a. 'tonkatsu ramen' a.k.a. 'hakata tonkatsu ramen' depending on who you ask, will always be my favorite.

In Fukuoka, go for the guys selling Hakata Ramen by the Nakasu river. In Sapporo, look for b/c/m ramen in Ramen Youkochou (ramen alley), something which everyone in the city can direct you to.



well there's 2 ramen alleys, this is part of 1. i know the next question you have is what's Sapporo's take on curry? well I was just about to get to that,



it's soup curry, and it's about as good as the quality of this picture. IMO, you can visit Sapporo, not eat this, and not miss out on anything special. i like curry to be thick, not something i dip Nan in. I guess one good thing I can say about Sapporo soup curry is that it provides you with energy that your body can use to maintain consciousness for awhile

finally, at the Nijo fish market (which is not pictured because the name pretty much says it all doesn't it?), you can eat really fresh sushi. or if you're a complete and totall jackass, you can buy a fresh fish at the market and take it to one of the sushi restaurants in the market where they'll cut it up and make you some sushi. but i didn't go to Nijo for sushi, I went for the local version of Oyakodon. Oyakodon means 'mother and child' and is usually chicken and eggs in a rice bowl. the Sapporo version is salmon and salmon eggs in a rice bowl



and this was the best, because these salmon eggs are a lot bigger than what they serve in the states. i know you can't see it in this picture, but these eggs look like little eyeballs because there's a grey/blackish thing inside each egg, a baby salmon i suppose but i'm not a science-doctor so don't take my word for it.

besides a fresh fish market, Sapporo is also home to #3 on Japan's list of Gakkari (disappointing) sights, the Sapporo clock tower.



and i know what they mean, because immediately after taking this picture, i was disappointed. see the small red stars on the building? the red star is kind of the logo for sapporo city



because it's the logo of Sapporo Beer, a name which is synonomous with Sapporo because...it's the exact same name. The Sapporo Beer company has been in S______ (this question is worth 5 points) for a really long time. Their original brewery is now a museum, free of charge and open to the public



where you can get drunk on the cheap. there's no info in English, but you can still learn something from going here, for example: "i like this beer," "the guy running the museum bar is an asshole" and



"this beer was made by teams of mice in red hats and blue hats."

guess that about does it for Sapporo. if i had some time off in february, i'd go back to see the ice sculpture contest. i think they made a Japanese castle one year. it's a great city, and now i've set foot on 3 out of 4 major Japanese islands, which means Shikoku is next on the list, then Okinawa and i'll try to hit a couple of the hundreds of smaller islands if i can.

Maybe i'll go see Nebuta too, this one person i met on my trip thought it was really cool...



--gaijin who writes this
signatures go here